OH! OH!

Jared Grabb is a true mid-American hero. He made us a hearty a nutritious breakfast and now we're going to go out, chop wood and milk the sheepdogs. This is how we'll become the salt of the earth.

Last night's show was wickedly wicked. First off, we got to see many old homies and bro-mies and sweetnesses. Mel got drunk and fellated an orange. We rocked the eff out and revolutionized hardcore music forever. Our breakdowns sounded like earthquakes and our doodling like birdsong. We punched each other in the face and threw our heads back in triumphant laughter. We were as gods.

I forgot to mention that Dan was adopted by a Pound Puppy in Boston. Ask him about this.

After the show, we went to a bar and met the Hottest Girl in the World. As I'd had a bit to drink, I told her this: "I just wanted you to know that you are the hottest girl in the world." She looked as me very calmly and said "thank you," like I'd just wished her a happy New Year or given her a coupon for Snackwells. Fuck that.

Today is the last day of tour, which should be fun since our dealer plates disappeared from the van and we get pulled over every fifteen minutes. "Dan! Hide the weed!" we shout.

We're playing the FSU garage tonight, which has proven to be a blast in the past. Fun times. Good babies.